You'll always be a loser

nearly seven years ago

What happened to Clive Owen? Why isn't HE Batman?

"You Writer! You Liar!" - so badass.

I want to date this girl and be a miserable piece of shit with her.

Holy Shit is the new Justice video fucking awesome.

Could a music video be more up my alley than that?

Louis

Zach

The lesson is: Don't Try. Like we do with this blag.

A letter to The Guy on the E Train that looks exactly like the grown up version of Butt-Head from the MTV series, Beavis and Butt-Head

Dear Guy on the E Train that looks exactly like the grown up version of Butt-Head from the MTV series, Beavis and Butt-Head,

I'm sorry you look exactly like the grown up version of Butt-Head from the MTV series, Beavis and Butt-Head. That must be hard for you. I say this because the resemblance is unbelievable. So, I'm sure you take a lot of shit about it. I'm sorry you have braces at this age. That seems awful. I remember when I had them when I was 13. It was horrible.

But it's good to see you're doing well. You're wearing a nice distressed leather jacket and some faded bootcut jeans now. That is much better than an AC/DC t-shirt and some small shorts. Maybe that girl from work that is clearly uncomfortable talking to you thinks your jacket is cute. Who knows? Your future is wide open.

I noticed you got off at the 7th Ave stop. If you live there I'm sorry for that as well. Not only do you look exactly like the grown up version of Butt-Head from the MTV series, Beavis and Butt-Head, you also live in a horrible area of Manhattan.

Well, good luck to you, Guy on the E Train that looks exactly like the grown up version of Butt-Head from the MTV series, Beavis and Butt-Head. I sincerely hope for nothing but the best for you.

I also sincerely hope that you're best friend looks exactly like Beavis. Because that would be fucking hilarious for anyone that sees you two together.

Love,
Mike

On Tombstone

Every couple of months, I remember something or get all moody and return to this movie. Is it not the best movie you have ever seen? I mean. I don't think there is much you can say about it. Literally every character is the best thing in the world. You know how when you watch a movie and a character says something and you don't really pay attention to it, or maybe you just don't think it was that good of a thing to say? That never happens once in this entire movie. Every single character says the best possible thing for them to say at any moment.

Wyatt Earp: How ya' doin' Doc?
Doc Holliday: I'm dying. How are you?

That is the raddest fucking thing you can say on your deathbed! Holy fuck. And obviously, Doc Holliday is the most kick ass character that's ever existed. But like, EVERY character is fucking sick. Even big old dumb Morgan Earp. The retarded Earp brother has the one of the illest lines in the whole movie! As he's dying, he says this:

"Remember what I said about people seein' a bright light before they die? It ain't true. I can't see a damn thing."

WHOOOOAAAAAAA! That is so fucking intense. This is one of the only movies that if they made it even longer and just filled it with like deleted scenes and stuff, I'd like it more. The shit is already like 3 hours long and get bummed every time it's over. I want more. So, yeah. Watch this movie again and get hyped. I'll let you borrow it. But, you should probably just buy it.

New Antilogy Mixtape! : Arms Out, Head Back

Man, can life fucking suck it sometimes or what? You know what I'm talking about? It's just like every fucking day is worst than the last. All this goddamn bullshit. You can barely make it through the day! How many times have you burst into tears as soon as got home from work this month? How many times have you thought, "What the fuck am I even doing? Am I just wasting my fucking life? Is anyone NOT wasting their life?" I know what it's like bro. I know that feeling of absolute hopelessness. When the very idea of putting one foot in front of the other is too much to deal with, and you just want to roll under a bridge and live there until you die. I know that feeling. Shit fucking sucks.

There's someone else who knows that feeling. His name is Andy Dufrense. And he's the main character of a film called "The Shawshank Redemption." He got dealt a shitty hand in life too! He ended up in jail or some shit. I don't really remember the beginning of the movie. The point is, his life brought him down. He had fucking nothing and he couldn't deal. He was like you. Dragging those feet. Feeling like everything is the worst. Getting butt-fucked by fellow inmates. Man! Life! Can you even take it? So, that shit is a bummer. But then you know what happens? Shit gets amazing.

Andy Dufrense breaks out of jail! And holy shit, is that scene fucking amazing, and epic and cathartic as fuck! Dude dead seriously crawls through a pipe full of shit and then rips his shirt off, closes his eyes, throws his head back and gets a metaphorical baptism in a thunderstorm. Fuck yeah! He looks so happy and so catharsisized! He's so at peace with everything and especially with not being in jail. And you know what? We all need a little Andy Dufrense, rain drenched catharsis.

So, I made this mixtape. Strictly cathartic jams. If it doesn't give you goosebumps and make you want to drop to your knees in slow motion, it's not on here. This is the epic jams. Album enders. These are the songs that drain everything. No song is under 3 minutes. How many vocal tracks? A million. So, this is for you guys. Time to just let it all out. Put your headphones on and just drink it in. Let these cathartic jams wash over you. Let them wash over you like a fucking flood (a flood of emotions?). Rip your shirt off! Go Petey Pablo with if you want. Spin it around your head like a helicopter! This is some Primal Scream shit. Let it out brother! Stick your arms out in a jesus pose, throw your head back, and close your eyes. Just imagine that bad ass thunderstorm washing all that shit off of as you listen to these burners. So cathartic.

Download below

Antilogy presents
ARMS OUT, HEAD BACK
(a cathartic jams mixtape)

Track Listing
1. To Old Friends And New - Titus Andronicus
2. The Gold We're Digging - Parts & Labor
3. Time Keeps Slipping Into The (Cosmic) Future - Iron Chic
4. Rock n Roll Suicide - David Bowie
5. Take Me Home (Piss Off) - Snuff
6. Mud Hill - Samiam
7. Anthems for a Seventeen Year-Old Girl - Broken Social Scene
8. Brand New Love - Sebadoh
9. Long As I Can See The Light - Creedence Clearwater Rivival
10. Accident Prone - Jawbreaker
11. And For You I Am Dying Now - The Crush
12. A Better Son/Daughter - Rilo Kiley
13. Kinetic - Osker
14. Davey Crockett - Fang Island
15. Unexplosions - Parts & Labor
16. Purple Rain - Prince & The Revolution
17. Modern Romance - TV on the Radio


Download Here

Woodie Guthrie's resolutions.

Never made a best of 2010

Put here's the best of today, 1.28.11

Beginners- A Mike Mills Joint, I'm a gonna love it.



Motorcycle Videos- I can't wait for it to be sunny and hot again, this dude is hauling ass



Max Schaff is consistently great
and I really like the song in the video.

Best of 1974

Working on the best of 2010, in the meantime:

Ryan's 2010 Best Of!

Best of 2010

Albums:

1) Kanye West - My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy

-It's difficult to describe how great this album is. Mike did, alot.How good is this? I haven't listened to a record on repeat since Through Being Cool came out, and that had LESS hooks.

2) Nightmares for a Week - Don't die

-Every part of every pop-punk band I've ever loved, but fully original. This shit is genius. Get it?

3) Iron Chic - Not Like This

-Grown up complaint-punk for your homies. It's really heavy handed, which works for me, cause I'm not intelligent.

4) Titus Andronicus - The Monitor

-An epic metaphor for modern life set across a backdrop of the civil war, but in New Jersey/Long Island. Kids in their early 20's have such Imagination! I was watching Titus tour videos, and was dead-ass pulling an Idiocracy, being all "Yo, why for you talking teacher talk, cut the shit". Again, dumb.


5) No Age - Everything in Between

This is my wildcard, because I really only listened to those four albums, and Waylon Jennings. If he put out a 7 inch from the grave, about how some hooker-ghost stole his soul and sent it to hades, that shit would have been 1,2,3,4,and 5.


T.V.

1) The League

-I feel like this show is pretty much hitting accross the board. Weird people from my high school are always posting on facebook about it. Soccer jocks I know love it. I don't really know any frat boys, but oh shiittttttttttt, they probably get fear boners over the thought of it getting cancelled. It's great, Nick Kroll is great. I really don't know how they let this show on T.V., I watched the season finale last night, and Pete said "They had to re- align my cock". Wow.

2) Friday Night Lights

-"Texas Forever"

3) Community

-This show is so good on such an adorable level. I think like a 17 year old, but am pretty war-torn by car insurance and dinner parties, so grown-up, cutesy shows usually do it for me. Community in reality, just takes old concepts from other shows/movies, and applies them to their formula, but it works. I also have a boner for the girl from Mad Men.


4) Eastbound and Down

- I have only seen three episodes from Season 2, but it's EB&D, it's awesome. Kenny Powers could racist the phone book. I like how slapstick this season is, the little Mexican (not racist) gangster is hilarious. I'm gonna go watch the rest now, to see if he gets his.


Movies

1) Scott Pilgrim Vs the World

-Everyone should know this shit is almost TOO up my alley. Nintendo, shitty jokes, Edgar Wright, George Michael, the super hot girl from Death Proof, Fights, swords for 48,000, weird Japanese video games, garlic bread. Wowie zowie, this movie killed it. How good was the soundtrack?? Brie Olsen sounded way better than that goof from Metric. I change my mind about #5 on my albums list. Sex-Bob-Omb "Threshold", killer song.

2) Toy Story 3

-I've never been so nervous.

3) Hot Tub Time Machine

-Rob Cordry is super dumb. I'm loving it. This movie was such a bootleg Apatow camp production. It felt like it was produced by Jeff Rogan. Whatever, there weren't very many good comedies this year, so this one took me by surprise. Also, I'm gunning for Clark Duke, he's too ugly to not suceed.

4) Get Him to the Greek

-Diddy Dirty Money killed the game. "It's Biggest Loser time!" Ha! He really got me. I also can't not love Russell Brand. Have you ever listened to his radio show? It's incredible! He's so silly. He's always trying to "Chat up" "Birds", whatever that means. He first met Katy Perry on a live radio broadcast, and then he MARRIED HER. That's charming.

5) The Social Network

-I love Facebook! All my friends are on it. We poke each other and such. I liked seeing a movie about something I can go home and use, which I did. I totally tagged all my photos, ignored some people I may (and do) know, and really looked at the personally targeted ads on the sidebar Anyway, pretty good movie.


Internet Stuff:

1) Diddy Ciroc Commercial

- "I'm not sorry". The crazier this motherfucker gets, the more I like him. Dave Chappelle was really on point 6 years ago, with the piggy packs and the breast milk. You WILL see Diddy making a cocktail with Ciroc & breast milk, named the "Love you, Ma$e".

2) Gathering of the Juggalos 2010

- What do you say? This is the future of the internet. It's going to be so batshit within 5 years. Like, for real nuts. I can't even imagine it. If 10 years ago, when I was scoring Bloodhound Gang songs from Napster version 1.3, somebody told my I would one day watch a 9 minute infomercial about a hip-hop clown festival where people get raped and spill soda pop on each other, I would have said "What's a yube-tube?". One of the selling points in that informercial is "Guys on stilts". SOLD.

3) Gimme Pizza Slow

-This shit is glorious. The crazy girl with big teeth yelling about whipped cream waterfalls, she kills it. This is how to make something funny, just slow that shit down. Litle girls chopped and screwed. Whoops, just got gross.

4) Runaway Video

-WOW. There's no going back from this. Kanye lives behind the curtain now. He just fucks a tiger while looking in the mirror, repeating "what's funny?".

5) Between Two Ferns

-Best talk show. I really want it to be unscripted. I could imagine serious-face Sean Penn really pulling out his tough street cred, and threatening Zach Galifianakis, who looks like the most unassuming hobo on Earth. Charleze Theron burned him, I was almost sad, I wanted him to hump her on my behalf. I would have said HUZZAH to all the smokin' hot ladies out there. "SEE, it's possible!".


On a Personal Note:

1) Antilogy 4 Year Anniversary Party

- I blacked out. Not that hard. I got in a tiff with my lady, that I'm sure I started, and got weird. I smoked weed. It was wild. I feel like this year was a lot of concreting what I've been doing for a while. People finally don't really ask me "Wait, you do what at Jim's store?". I credit that to Jim basically opening his speech with the explanation. I stay mysterious, bro. Return of Saturn.

2) "Could Have Been Nicer" Show

-We had an art soiree at out favorite bar in town. It was tight. I blacked out way hard. Again, pretty good validation. Although a lot of people asked us "What's even going on here tonight?", followed by an explanation, followed by a dead-stare, and "What?". It was all very high brow.

3) Fire at the Store

- The store caught on fire two weeks after the 4 year party. It was a huge bummer. We kind of went into shock, and just started bucketing water, and cleaning up wet insulation for hours on end. It was very surreal. It's not my store or anything, so I didn't have money invested, but it was still a very year-impacting event. It also took two whole months before everything was repaired. What a drag.

4) Good Times

- The last time we did a best-of-list, it was really depressing, because I think we were still worried about being cool and relevant. So we were pretty self deprecating. This time I don't really want to go out like that. I had by far one of the hardest years of my life. My dad had three major heart surgeries, my parents are broke and my mom will work every day until she dies, my sister is dealing with the fallout of a massive brain aneurysm that she thankfully survived, and everything is changing in leaps and bounds. Most of the time it's getting harder. BUT, I really had some good times this past year. Everyone I know is really grasping at our last bit of pure youth, before you really start feeling guilty every time you drink. It looks like we are starting to really genuinely enjoy the people around us, instead of snidely take them for granted. And for that, I will trade bullshiting some dork at thebar. 2010 can kind of suck it, but also can get a little pat on the back. Now I age but, don't get old.

Kim couldn't be more disappointed

with this stone



www.kimjongillookingatthings.tumblr.com

Mike's Record Review: My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy by Kanye West

Since I now have a job that consists of sitting in complete silence for 9 hours, I figured I should start listening to some tunes while I do. And then I thought, fuck it. Why don't I review records. So, here it is.


This album is totally great! This is some serious art. It’s really great to see someone in this time in history really, fucking trying hard to do something. That is something that’s not rewarded at all in our world. People love irony. They fucking love some effortless, tongue-in-cheek bullshit. So, it’s really awesome to see someone trying super, super hard to do what he does and being dead fucking serious about it. If all this album had going for it was its sincerity and pursuit of vision, I’d still be a fan. Luckily, this album was made by a complete lunatic.

This album is straight nuts. It is absolutely amazing. It doesn’t sound like music being taken to the next level. Where some of these songs are, there isn’t an idea of levels anymore. This is what happens when you let someone who is super creative and also very crazy have free reign. Total magic is what happens.

I have to give full disclosure though. I’m not a huge fan of hip-hop. Maybe this is what all hip-hop sounds like. I don't know. I have a passing knowledge of the art form. I know OF Gucci Mane. I couldn’t name a song by him, but I do know he exists. So, for this album to totally connect to me, it has to be good. But, I am a rabid consumer of pop culture, so I totally know a ton about Kanye West. I like everything I’ve heard by him. I’ve been a huge fan of his persona for a long time. I remember I saw the Katrina shit live and fucking loved it. Dude was being so real on every fucking channel! He clowned the president on simulcast! I was with a bunch of hipsters and metal crusties at the time, and we all totally agreed with Yeezy and thought it was fucking awesome. So honest. He’s a sincere man and I think this album is very sincere and I think it’s a very sad album for a very sad time (isn’t everyone sad). I think this album will be viewed as something of a classic. I think it is a sign of the times. Even an incredibly rich, genius that beds models all day, is just as sad as you about all this bullshit that makes up this thing called life. Just like you! Imagine the president called you a jackass? How fucking bummed would you be? Anyway. Enough of me being serious Sammy. Let me break this shit down on a track by track basis. It’s awesome!


Dark Fantasy
Whoa. That’s how you start an album. This shit is fucking dark. Weird pitch-shifted choir. Rappin about sports cars and, Oh man. That interlude. “I saw the devil in a Chrysler LeBaron.” “Took some pills and kissed an heiress.” He’s painting a picture everybody! And that picture is fucking crazy and I love it. All William Burroughs on it. Pretty tight.


Gorgeous
Talkin about Mt. Olympus and South Park. Like, what? Are these torche lyrics? Kanye West is the only rapper that I understand the things he’s saying. Somewhat. I get some of it. Also, Kid Cudi is pretty good. “These week has been a bad massage, I need a happy ending.” That’s fucking awesome Yeezy. I feel that way too. Did your girlfriend leave you too, Yeezy? I bet she did. And I bet you’re bummed about it.

Raekwon is the coolest member of Wu-Tang. One-hundred and One Ls is the best line ever. This album makes it seem like Kanye West could hang out with literally ANYONE. I can’t think of a bar that if he showed up, people would be like, “Pfffftttt. Yeah, Kanye West REAL cool. Nice, beautiful clothes you got on, dude.”


Power
Holy. Fucking. Shit.

This is like totally awesome. Prog-Rap?!? Seriously? This song seriously makes me nervous it’s so fucking good. Like, I don’t even get it. He’s on some Donald Fagan shit now. What do other rappers think when they hear this song? “Fuck, why didn’t I think to sample a King Crimson song and then have it end with weird, Super Nintendo keyboards while some dude sings about me killing myself?” You know why you didn’t think of it? Because fucking no one would think of that.


All Of The Lights
What the fuck? Who were the producers on this shit? Fucking Stan Bush and Andrew W.K.? Totally fucking epic and awesome. Fucking John Williams horns. Rhianna singing all awesome. “Fast cars, shooting stars.” Real good. Real, real good. But then Yeezy flips it on us? What? Yes. This beautiful song that sounds like you just killed a dragon is ACTUALLY a sad song. NOOOOO!!!!! Don’t worry dude. It’s still good. It’s just some made up story or something. Kanye West doesn’t have a baby.

He talks about meeting in Borders. That happens all the time, dude. Ever been to New York City? There’s so many Borders. Is that M.I.A rapping on this song? I have no idea. Fucking probably. Oh man. When those horns come in and that guy starts singing. Wrap. It. The. Fuck. Up.


Monster
Ugh. Could this song be any better?
I’ve decided that every rap verse should end with a fucking lion roar. It’s just a nice way to let you know that fire is being spit. You know? I like how everyone decided to rap all awesome on this song, too. Hova’s rapping all hard and tough, like he’s in Gravediggaz. Talking about killing vampires or some shit. Making a sniffy, sniff noise. Pretty Cool.

But holy shit. Nicki Minaj. Did that fucking happen? That was incredible. She did like 6 accents! In the same line! Screamin and shit. Doing a baby voice! Whoa. During her verse, I was like, “Alright. Chill out. You’re too good at being bananas and rapping. Also, will you be my girlfriend?” Seriously though, Nicki Minaj. I feel like it you would look really cool if you had a pale, dorky web designer from Brooklyn as your boyfriend. Also, I feel like fucking you would be terrifying in the best way possible. I’m on Twitter. DM me.


So Appalled
Solid. Solid. Solid beat. This is like the standard rap song on the album and it’s STILL all dark and moody. It sounds like a Depeche Mode song. Which is great. I like how Jay-Z gets a REAL solid burn in on MC Hammer. Really Jigga? Leave Hammer alone. He’s stupid and you’re awesome. You wear crazy Russian hats to the president’s inauguration. You don’t need to inform everyone that you’re better than MC Hammer. We know. I also like the line “five star dishes / many exotic fishes” Yes, yes, yes. That IS extravagant.


Devil In A New Dress
The first time I heard I heard this song, I wasn’t that into it. I was like, it just kind of sounds like an old Kanye West song, which I’m not that much of a fan of. Then I figured out why it’s great. This song is the perfect soundtrack to walk through a lonely, New York City night and just be super, super, bummed. Just really drinking in that real sad vibe. Really feeling it.

I’ve never understood the draw of Rick Ross. “I’m the boss! I’m from Miami. I got a cool beard.” But his verse in this song. ... This fucking verse. Perfect. He’s got a really cool voice and the ending of this song is fucking incredible. Rick Ross drops this line, “I’m making love to the angel of death / Catching feelings, never stumble, re-tracing my steps.” then BOOM! Fucking guitar solo and Rick Ross doing burly man grunts. Incredible. I’m making love to the angel of death? That’s so fucking awesome.


Runaway
Me and Kanye West have many things in common. Like Yeezy, one day I’ll write a beautiful, elegant, opus of a song that is so full of universal introspection, it could make anyone cry. And also like Yeezy, one of the first lines of that elegant, opus of song, will be, “I sent this girl a picture of my dick.”
The idea of sending a woman a picture of your wiener is something that I’ve always found so amazing. I could write volumes on the idea of sending a pix message of your own dick to a love interest. It’s incredible and I’m so glad Kanye included it in the signature song on this album.

Anways, this song is fucking incredible. As a man who enjoys a trashy lady and being a piece of shit and being bummed about those things, I relate to you, Kanye West. He’s like Jerry Seinfeld, but rapping and singing. Also, I have always been charmed by Kanye singing. I never really got why people give him guff about it. I guess people in the R&B community have high vocal standards. Not me. Shit, I listen to Osker and Kanye West is easily a better singer than that dude. You could eat this fucking song! So sparse. So sad. Totally awesome. But, I gotta be honest, the Pusha-T verse isn’t his best. It’s really good, but I’ve heard him be astounding. But GODDAMN is that string sample under it not incredible. This shit is 9 minutes long! I can put up with a couple bars of Pusha-T being JUST great.

And tell me about this outro! He drops the beat out and you think that’s it. Nope motherfucker! 3 minute distored vocoder solo! Holy shit. Awesome. It sounds like he took the blue pill and is coming out of the Matrix. I bet that’s what he was thinking as he was doing it. “This sounds just like I took the blue pill and now I’m coming out of the Matrix. ... I am coming out of the Matrix of my own emotions. ... I’m a genius.”


Hell Of A Life
Does this song not come in awesome? That cool farty soundin bass. Real nice. This song is pretty rad. Is that second verse about the girl being racist? If so, that’s awesome. Also, good job Yeezy for rhyming “maid” with “maid”. This song is like Rocket Queen by Guns N’ Roses. And by that, I mean, it’s about boning a devil woman and there’s a “sounds of people fucking each other” part. Kanye did it better. The choir part is fucking epic. So, so, rad.


Blame Game
HOLY FUCK. THIS SONG IS FUCKING AWESOME.

“You weren’t perfect but you made life worth it.”

FUUUUUUCCCCCCK! Kanye. Seriously? That’s super fucking sad. IT’S LIKE RAPPING EMOTIONALLY AND IT’S FUCKING CRAZY. HE WAS RAPPING WITH HIMSELF IN A DEEP DRACULA VOICE. Everyone else, call it quits. This guy is the Ft. Knox of being bummed. Why did he just say Chloe Mitchell?!?! Who the fuck is Chloe Mitchell?!? Is that who this song is about!?!?

He sang the hook! He sang the hook! So raw! Get the fuck out of the way John Legend. Yeezy’s got some sadness he needs the world to hear. Holy fuck! this song is so fucking good. So good. So super, super, sad. The Chris Rock outro is fucking incredible. How fucking smart is Kanye West? He took the motif of the hip-hop skit and turned it into a fucking tragedy! Ah! Fuck! That’s so fucking smart. It makes me so sad to hear it. I hate them both. All I can think of is Kanye West listening to it on his iPhone and being totally sad. This is the best break-up song ever.


Lost in the world
25 seconds in and I’m hooked. Just fucking forget it. Kanye West. You win at making songs, dude. This song is not like when you're done being sad and now you’re happy. It’s like, when you’re still sad, but you’re ready to try to be happy. Help yourself. You know what I’m saying? I don’t know. Killing it on the harmonies everybody. Good job. Including you, duck squawk. Good job duck squawk.

WHOOOOO. This album is sick. I could seriously write so much more about this album, but I won’t this is already too much. Good job, Kanye West. All serious though. This album is fucking awesome.

Blogs you should be reading

http://hisdarknostalgia.com/

http://fuckyeahmenswear.tumblr.com/

http://oralmaze.blogspot.com/

http://bakeyourownhead.blogspot.com/ (even though he never updates

Skateboarding!

Focus groups give you 30% more at the box office, ya heard?!

Roger TX Toast Tour Focus Groups from Roger Skateboards on Vimeo.

Whoooooaaaaaaa.

Most definitely

Lil' Cowboys From Hell