Zach

The lesson is: Don't Try. Like we do with this blag.

A letter to The Guy on the E Train that looks exactly like the grown up version of Butt-Head from the MTV series, Beavis and Butt-Head

Dear Guy on the E Train that looks exactly like the grown up version of Butt-Head from the MTV series, Beavis and Butt-Head,

I'm sorry you look exactly like the grown up version of Butt-Head from the MTV series, Beavis and Butt-Head. That must be hard for you. I say this because the resemblance is unbelievable. So, I'm sure you take a lot of shit about it. I'm sorry you have braces at this age. That seems awful. I remember when I had them when I was 13. It was horrible.

But it's good to see you're doing well. You're wearing a nice distressed leather jacket and some faded bootcut jeans now. That is much better than an AC/DC t-shirt and some small shorts. Maybe that girl from work that is clearly uncomfortable talking to you thinks your jacket is cute. Who knows? Your future is wide open.

I noticed you got off at the 7th Ave stop. If you live there I'm sorry for that as well. Not only do you look exactly like the grown up version of Butt-Head from the MTV series, Beavis and Butt-Head, you also live in a horrible area of Manhattan.

Well, good luck to you, Guy on the E Train that looks exactly like the grown up version of Butt-Head from the MTV series, Beavis and Butt-Head. I sincerely hope for nothing but the best for you.

I also sincerely hope that you're best friend looks exactly like Beavis. Because that would be fucking hilarious for anyone that sees you two together.

Love,
Mike

On Tombstone

Every couple of months, I remember something or get all moody and return to this movie. Is it not the best movie you have ever seen? I mean. I don't think there is much you can say about it. Literally every character is the best thing in the world. You know how when you watch a movie and a character says something and you don't really pay attention to it, or maybe you just don't think it was that good of a thing to say? That never happens once in this entire movie. Every single character says the best possible thing for them to say at any moment.

Wyatt Earp: How ya' doin' Doc?
Doc Holliday: I'm dying. How are you?

That is the raddest fucking thing you can say on your deathbed! Holy fuck. And obviously, Doc Holliday is the most kick ass character that's ever existed. But like, EVERY character is fucking sick. Even big old dumb Morgan Earp. The retarded Earp brother has the one of the illest lines in the whole movie! As he's dying, he says this:

"Remember what I said about people seein' a bright light before they die? It ain't true. I can't see a damn thing."

WHOOOOAAAAAAA! That is so fucking intense. This is one of the only movies that if they made it even longer and just filled it with like deleted scenes and stuff, I'd like it more. The shit is already like 3 hours long and get bummed every time it's over. I want more. So, yeah. Watch this movie again and get hyped. I'll let you borrow it. But, you should probably just buy it.